Man, 4:45am can have you up as if it was 6pm and you worked all day. Exhausted but wide awake. Your brain reeling all the events unfinished and completed. Some crazy dialogue on a loop. And as you walk into the kitchen, mindlessly looking through the fridge and cabinets, there is a certain still about the house because everyone is sleeping but you.
Over the years, I have spent a lot of free time with people I consider friends. By free time, I mean, my work is done and I'm in need of a break from its minute to minute intensity. However, I don't want to run from work/life, I want to celebrate and dissect it a bit. Wether through code or shared stories that can be relatable, you learn from friends or become a better listener and confidant. Some separation time. Time to reflect from a distance. Friends to me are the space in which that distance resides.
But there is nothing worse than spending that time with people, coming together and sharing those moments only to figure out that some of those good times and conversations were spent with people you considered friends. To find out that the alterations you may have made through their enlightenment is ignored for whatever reason. You become devalued for action. Put down through omission or inflection of acknowledgement. This weekend shrunk my universe in that regard and reopened it to me and a smaller more intimate group. It became the most rewarding weekend of my life and showed me that the personal moments and most inner thoughts should only be shared with a few and that maybe, distance and space is what we need. Distance from our fleeting connectivity. After all, real growth separates us naturally.
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